2014 Goals, sort of

I had it in mind to update my “bucket list” for the new year.  Then I thought I might copy my niece and write about 14 accomplishments to be achieved in 2014.  Only, I couldn’t think of 14.  I couldn’t even think of 4.

The thing is, my life is currently unpredictable from one day to the next.  I can’t even count on a regular morning routine any more.  But, I do need some sort of goals .  Without some sort of goals .. some hoe of bettering myself, my life, in some way … I become purposeless and useless.  That is not acceptable.

For 2014, I hope to be more patient.  A LOT more patient.  I hope to find new ways of accomplishing the day to day things that need to be done in lieu of a “routine”.  I need to grit my teeth and purge more and more of the “stuff” here, especially paper and paper related. Unless it’s insurance, annuity, or tax related – I don’t need it any more.

I got rid of at least a dozen ring binders.  I kept 4 or 5, several big fat ones, that I have meticulously assembled over the years (predominately Christmas related).  It just breaks my heart that after all that work, I can no longer see well enough to use them .. and no one else is interested. 

Perhaps I’ll keep them a bit longer, in hopes that there’ll be someone to help me use them again.

Another goal for 2014 is to be more self reliant.  I’ve been disappointed quite a few times this past year.  People say they are going to do something .. but then not only never do, they don’t even so much as acknowledge that they ever said they would.  So, instead of counting on people, I have to learn new ways of doing things so that I don’t need help.  The hardest part of that is taking care of DH.  I’m tired all the time, and tired makes me so much less patient than I need to be.

I don’t want to commit myself to anything more specific than this.  I really do not know from one day to the next what will happen.    As of tonight, I feel like  DH will continue on this same path for years .. slowly declining (but with his mind sadly failing faster than the rest of him).  His doctor put him on hospice; but I’m fairly sure they did that in order for us to get some degree of help (oxygen, hospital bed, wheelchair – all paid for by hospice, as well as other supplies).    I do not think his doctor literally saw him as being terminal within 6 months.  Or 12 months.  Who knows.  I do understand that the toxins from his kidney disease are slowly causing more problems for him that are, as yet, undetectable.

And enough of that gloomy subject!  The point is, although I *think* things will continue more or less as they are for many many months to come, I don’t know that for sure.  And even if the general theme continues, he is different from day to day.  That’s where I need to learn to be flexible, and come up with ways to get done the things I need to do.

I also need to work at determining what really is important and what isn’t.  Writing IS important, because I need the outlet for emotions and feelings.  Mostly I do that on my One Day blog.  I need to be sure to not go more than 2 days without updating.

One last point.  My goal is to be more “cheerful” in the newsletter, and less “whiny” in the blog.  Expressing my depression and frustration is one thing; but I need to stop complaining about the same stupid things over and over!  I’m amazed that no one has dropped the newsletter, even though I’ve had to cut way back on what is in it.  I actually miss being able to do the quotes and other stuff, but I just can’t see well enough.  Too bad I don’t have a research assistant! LOL!

I hope anyone who happens to read this has a wonderful New Year: healthy, safe, and prosperous!

Cats!I have been saying over the last year or two that I am "in traiin

I have been saying for the last few years that I am "in training" to be the "crazy cat lady".  There are few who would question the "crazy" part.  I was raised by a lady, but I can't say it "tok" all that much; but I do try.  Usually.  But cats ... ahhhhhh.  I do love cats.  Even when they infuriate me, which they often do.

When we lived at the beach, I was given an adorable "tiger" kitten.  He was very sweet, but like all cats he was curious.  So when an obnoxious houseguest left the door open, he went out.  Outdoor cat, no problem.  Outdoor cat when there's a pen with several large dogs ... major problem.  Suffice to say he did not survive the experience.
Later I was given another kitten.  She was pure white .. and purely mean.  I was the only one who was ever able to handle her, and even I had to be cautious.  Later I was given yet another kitten, a 3-legged refugee.  I thought the 2 would be comppany, but they never bonded.  Eventually the mean cat was allowed to be an outside cat, and she was actually much happier - and nicer - until she got into the cow pasture.
The 3-legged cat survived  several moves, and eventually succombed to natural causes.

About a year or so after the last cat died, a neighbor's cat had a litter.  I claimed one, the prettiest little female ever.  As it turned out, she was the only survivor of that litter (due to roaming evil dogs).  Her name is Maggie, and she is quite aware that she is a beautiful princess.  She's now about 3 1/2 years old.  

A friend had to move out of state and couldn't take her cat, so I said I would take him.  I thought he would be company for Maggie.  You'd think I'd have learned that doesn't work! LOL!  Anyway, he's a big yellow cat named Butter.  He's now a bit over 2 years, and they tolerate each other.  Mostly.  He does prefer to be outside, so most days I let him out in the morning.  He comes to the door at night when he's ready to come in!

Last summer a stray cat showed up in the yard.  She was very scrawney, but friendly.  So I started feeding her.  Butter was afraid of her, so he stayed inside for a few months.  One day I went out to feed the stray .. and to my very great surprise, kittens began to come out from under the porch!

Naturally I began feeding the kittens.  My thought was that I needed to get them "tamed" so I could catch them and take to a shelter.  Well, part of the problem with that is that I have no way to actually either catch them or get them to a shelter.  In any case, they are coming around, gradually, one at a time.

The little gray one was the first to accept me.  I tried picking him up once, and he tried to bite me.  Fortunately, his little baby teeth weren't strong enough.  Now, some months later, I can pick him up and ;et him.  He won't accept being held long at a time, but he doesn't bite or scratch; he purrs!
Several of the others (there are 5!) will now come rub around my feet and purr; and one is just starting to let me reach down and pet it.

Two days ago one of the little brats found a way to climb in a window.  I'm now really sure that's what he meant to do, but nevertheless he got in.  I didn't find him until much later; but then the big cats discovered him .. and he ended up in the attic!  Last night I finally had the big cats shut in the kitchen, so I took a small dish of food and some water upstairs, and shut the door.  This morning the kitten kept crying, so I gook a bowl of milk (watered down, that's what I give them outside) to him.  I sat on the stes in the doorway, and he came right up to the bowl .. and slurped down the milk so fast he choked himself!  The food and water was gone.  I went back and got a small dish of food, and put in down several steps.  Then I sat on the landing near the bottom of the steps.  It took a few minutes, but the kitten came on down.  When he got near me, he started "exploring".  He circled around me.  A time or two when he got close, I reached out and rubbed or scratched him.  He ducked away, but ot far; and he was purring the whole time.  He kept getting braver, letting me touch and rub him.  Finally when he was close and not darting away, I got hold of him by the back of the neck.  I was then able to pick him up .. still purring .. and carry him to the door to go out.
And the little brat, as soon as his feet hit the porch, immediately stood up against the door crying again!!  Seems he liked being inside!  Oh, it is SO tempting.  But 3 cats?  And with Miss Maggie not likeing "intruders" into her kingdom?  Sigh.  I guess not.

I'm really OK with the outside cats.  After all, we live out in the country .. and have mice!  Maggie and Butter are turning into pretty good mousers.  I'd like to think the outside ones would be also.  But .. carzy or not, I don't really need or want more litters.  So I need to catch the females at the very least and have them spayed.
Hmmm.  First I need someone with good vision (which I do NOT have) to determine which are the females.  Then I need to borrow one or two large "live traps".  And then I'll need someone to actually take them to the vet, or shelter, whichever I need to do.

So.  I have the cat part well in hand.  The crazy part is not in question.  I guess I need to work harder on being a lady.  Well, sometimes anyway. :)