I’ve been thinking a lot about friendship lately. It’s said that the best way to have a friend
is to be a friend. It would appear I’m
not very good at that. But recently I’ve
come to realize that at least 2 people I had thought of as friends aren’t
really. Also, a lot of people I thought
of as friends are really only acquaintences.
There’s a vast difference between being “friends” and being “friendly”.
A long time ago I had this wonderful little book about “balcony
people”. I don’t know what happened to
it .. and if I don’t come across it in the on-going process of purging and
packing, then I hope it went to someone who will also appreciate it. The basic message was that we all need at
least one person “in the balcony” .. someone who cheers you on, believes in
you, cares about you .. no matter what.
Life is too short (and for some of us, too stressful) to be brought down
by negative people.
One person I had thought was a friend just stopped having
anything to do with me .. about the time I ran out of money and the booze in
the house ran dry. I had tried to be
there for her when she needed me .. but she certainly was nowhere to be found
when I needed a friend.
Another friend, I have come to realize, rarely ever has
anything positive to say. She has always
criticized me and my family, always has little comments. I’ve always let it go, because that’s what
friends do. But when I realized that
being with her did not give me any ositive feelings at all, I decided it’s time
to shut that door. It makes me sad; but
I truly do need people in my life who are uplifting, not dragging me down.
Oddly enough, 2 of the best true friends are ladies I only
see maybe once in 10 or 20 years. And
one of them doesn’t even write or anything.
But she was totally there for me when I most needed her. And whether we’re in constant contact or not,
I always *know* she’s there.
Another friend has been my BFF for 50 years. We write frequently right now; but have at
times gone yeaars without being in touch at all. We always “find” each other again. And she is the truest “balcony person” for me
that I’ve ever known!
I wonder sometimes how I can possibly deserve 2 such good
friends .. I don’t do anything but whine and complain; and yet they listen
patiently.
I am about to enter a new (and mostly unexected) phase of my
life. I’m looking forward to it, and
terrified at the same time. My true
friends will still be friends. The false
friends will be left behind. I know I
will meet new people, make new acquaintences.
I wonder if any of them will turn into friends .. I hope so, but time
will tell.
I’m remembering the little jingle we learned oh so many
years ago in scouts …. “Make new friends, But keep the old. One is silver and the other is gold”.
