Silver and Gold

I’ve been thinking a lot about friendship lately.  It’s said that the best way to have a friend is to be a friend.  It would appear I’m not very good at that.   But recently I’ve come to realize that at least 2 people I had thought of as friends aren’t really.  Also, a lot of people I thought of as friends are really only acquaintences.  There’s a vast difference between being “friends” and being “friendly”.

A long time ago I had this wonderful little book about “balcony people”.  I don’t know what happened to it .. and if I don’t come across it in the on-going process of purging and packing, then I hope it went to someone who will also appreciate it.  The basic message was that we all need at least one person “in the balcony” .. someone who cheers you on, believes in you, cares about you .. no matter what.   Life is too short (and for some of us, too stressful) to be brought down by negative people.

One person I had thought was a friend just stopped having anything to do with me .. about the time I ran out of money and the booze in the house ran dry.  I had tried to be there for her when she needed me .. but she certainly was nowhere to be found when I needed a friend.

Another friend, I have come to realize, rarely ever has anything positive to say.  She has always criticized me and my family, always has little comments.  I’ve always let it go, because that’s what friends do.  But when I realized that being with her did not give me any ositive feelings at all, I decided it’s time to shut that door.  It makes me sad; but I truly do need people in my life who are uplifting, not dragging me down.

Oddly enough, 2 of the best true friends are ladies I only see maybe once in 10 or 20 years.  And one of them doesn’t even write or anything.  But she was totally there for me when I most needed her.  And whether we’re in constant contact or not, I always *know* she’s there.

Another friend has been my BFF for 50 years.  We write frequently right now; but have at times gone yeaars without being in touch at all.  We always “find” each other again.  And she is the truest “balcony person” for me that I’ve ever known! 

I wonder sometimes how I can possibly deserve 2 such good friends .. I don’t do anything but whine and complain; and yet they listen patiently.

I am about to enter a new (and mostly unexected) phase of my life.  I’m looking forward to it, and terrified at the same time.  My true friends will still be friends.  The false friends will be left behind.  I know I will meet new people, make new acquaintences.  I wonder if any of them will turn into friends .. I hope so, but time will tell.

I’m remembering the little jingle we learned oh so many years ago in scouts …. “Make new friends, But keep the old.  One is silver and the other is gold”.